There are no words. Just emptiness, sadness and confusion. Grief is real and it is cruel. You think that you have found a way to cope and before you know it you are overwhelmed again. I hope to one day share some of the glimpses of beauty in all this darkness, but right now I don't know how.
All I can say is that God is good. He has carried us thus far and will continue to do so. I don't understand, but I have hope, eternal, strong assuring hope that this is not the end. Jouke is with his Lord and maker, we are carried daily in His hands and one day in God timing and through his grace we will be together again.
This missing is hard.