Blessed

I was listening to a sermon series by Mark Driscoll titled "Redeeming Ruth". In it Mark explains the story of Ruth and how that reflects the story of Jesus. Much as Boaz redeemed Ruth, a broken, poor widow and gave her a second chance, so Jesus is redeeming us. Because of His work on the cross we are saved, redeemed and given a second chance at life and the promise of eternity. What a wonderful story!!!

Mark, in the same series, also took some time to talk to young unmarried men and call them to stand up and become men and be like Boaz, offering women, widows and Godly single mothers and new life by being their redeemers (with a little r). It is a Christ-like, selfless act to take on a women that cames with baggage, that has been through trials and who does not fit the worlds standard of perfection.

I am marrying one such man. His love for Jesus is his most precious quality followed closely by his love for others. He has listened to God's call and opened his heart and life to me and my three kids. He calls us his package deal.

I am reminded of God's love and Jesus' promise of salvation every time I look at him. And as my mum said: "How is it that in your 29 years you have have managed to snag 2 of the most amazing men you will ever meet. It is definitely a God thing!"

I agree! Praise Jesus.

Sick of it!

I am so sick of everything I do, everyday, being somehow tainted with grief and sadness. Even the happiest things.

I watched my son sing in his kindergarten choir and I cried.

I laughed at my little girl's antics and then in the next breath I feel like crying.

I am planning my wedding! I am happy, but always, somewhere, there is the knowledge that this wouldn't be happening if it was not for the loss of a great man.

Today I did a really great thing. I rearranged my wardrobe to make space for my soon-to-be husband. The wedding is getting that close. In 30 sleeps I don't have to sleep alone anymore. I am so excited!

But what sucks about grief is that these things also makes me sad. Sad, because it screams so loudly that Jouke isn't coming back.

And I hate that death has robbed me of joy even in the happiest of moments!!