Monday, February 14, 2011

Master's tools

His supervisor sends him to run a quick errand. He's not gone for longer than 3 minutes and when he returns he finds the worst - life is forever changed. Another work place accident. Another life lost that has a catastrophic rippling effect. My heart bleeds for that young apprentice - how do you ever look at life the same way?
I am just as sympathetic to the other workers at that factory who will never again just go to work.
But mostly I am sad for the family that has lost their husband, father and friend.

When our pastor was telling us about this accident last Sunday, I began to shake. Partly because this story is all to familiar. Mostly because I wondered how I could possibly help. How, with all that I had been through and all that I know, can I reach out to these people to let them know that they are not alone? To tell them of the hope that Jesus offers.

That is when I realised that after nearly two years of being so solely focused on myself I am finally become strong enough (only by God's mercy) to start to look to others and to feel as though I might be of some help. Right from the start of this journey I have maintained that God would not put me through this journey if He did not need to teach me some lessons, to make me stronger, more useful. Is that not after all the reason we are here: for God's glory?

Quite be 'accident' I stumbled across a wonderful website a few weeks ago. Ann writes beautifully. He words are healing. Her story is powerful. I believe God needed me to find her writing, so that I could learn from her, so that I could be more and live more fully. She says this in one of her wonderful posts:

God only makes strong tools out of those weak enough to know they need Him.

And maybe that is what has been happening this last 2 years. More then ever, I KNOW that I need Jesus. I am not strong enough to face this world alone, to carry my burdens or to be of any use to anybody. But with Jesus, in His strength, I am.

My heart has been beating wildly all week long. It is freeing and humbling to know - to KNOW - who I am in Jesus. To know for sure that no matter what, He is in control, He is working it all for my good and to not just believe it but to see it in my life. I am so filled with gratitude! And now I am also beginning to fill with the wonder of possibility. The possibility of, together with Adrian, finding a ministry and working for Jesus. I want to help others to know Him and to use what I am learning to walk a little with somebody else on their journey.

Pray with me that God will show us where we are needed and how we can serve. Pray also that we remain humble before Him and completely aware of our dependence on Him.

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